I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We left an ass print on the piano.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
