We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
