That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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