he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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