Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
