And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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