soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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