these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
