Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
