love makes seman taste better
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
