I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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