I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You pole danced in your parka.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize