at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
