I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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