is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
