New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize