He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just googled if crying burns calories
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
