He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
