There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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