sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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