Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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