your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
