I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
