3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
