Someone shit on the floor
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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