awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
