I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
