I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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