mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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