Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
