I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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