no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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