Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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