he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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