So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
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i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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