I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
