Where is the hickey?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
