The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
