Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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