What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
