You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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