Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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