what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
third nipple confirmed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
