the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
