if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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