I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
