Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
