scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
