I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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