her facebook's as public as her vagina
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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