fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize