So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
