My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
