I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
