two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
my liver is dry heaving
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
