If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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