everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
