Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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