You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
