i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
