At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
