yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
