Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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